Friday, December 26, 2008

My life continues...

I am seating in front of my notebook for the whole afternoon. I just serviced my car and settled the registration of CIMBClicks (so I can settle my fees easier).

I feel really really weird now. Something is missing. Something is not right. Someone just gave me a big big blow… I really don’t know what to do.

The last time you cried and said that I hurt you, I felt really bad and sorry. I couldn’t bear to see your tears. I told myself that it’ll be the last time, and that I’ll make a point to be with you, no matter how freaking busy I was. I’ll make you the happiest person on earth. I’ll bring you where ever you want to go. I told myself I’ve enough of the busy life that ate almost the last 3 years of my life... You saw my panda eyes. You called me because of those eyes. You wouldn't stop laughing at it. You knew how I was before this. You were the reason I changed my life.

Anugerah Kecemerlangan Pelajar 08 means nothing to me at the end of the day.

Few months in and out, I thought I had a great time with you by my side, whether it is mugging books, having meals, jogging, watching football, climbing that mountain or even doing your favourite past time- shopping together… I though we’ve came quite far of a journey. I’d give everything I possibly could. With you all the time was Tan Wee Ser, in his most sincere form. He would occasionally do some tricks to cheer you up. But mostly would be lots of crap and cold jokes. But he was never those romantic or high-class rich guys that are able to give a girl everything she wants in the world. He is a little too straight forward and no-nonsense for those. He leads a normal life with normal daily routines. And you’ll feel bored of these routine after some time. But he dares to dream, and dreams will come thru for him…

So, one day when I look back at those stupid and funny things we’ve done, I’ll always remember that a girl like you came into my life.

I guess it’s more than one year since I know you. I thought I saw a more matured girl, that can think better for yourself. I’ve never doubt that you’ll have a fantastic future ahead. You won’t be lacking of any suitors too. So do what you think is right, and don’t regret.

Thanks for those hand-cooked meals, and those tong yuen. You won’t understand how much it means to me. And thanks for the care when I was sick and totally shut down…

I believe in fate. Because everything in my life is planned, by God. Everything that happened to me in my life has its order, step by step. I always tell myself that God has treated me very very well. I have a wonderful family, and lots of good good friends (and these 2 are really enough for me). What’s more I am financially independent since 18, by a scholarship by Genting, and have a car (though it’s quite an old piece of metal, but you guys can’t imagine how contented and grateful I am). I even have the luxury of a job-in-waiting during this hard time of recession… I can’t ask for more, and I won’t.

Maybe one last wish, that you will always be happy and live a great life.

I come from a simple family, where my dad was brought up the hard way (when eating white rice was called a treat). Dad taught me to be a strong boy no matter what happens. He told me guys should act like guys, they don’t cry. He told me to get up after I fall down, and always try my best in what ever I do. He taught me to be steady in everything I do. That’s the reason I never fear difficulties in life. I am willing to work hard and fight for a better future, for my dreams, and an easier life for the people who love me, and whom I love. And I normally achieve my targets, because I always give my best, whether it’s in studies or caring for you.

Sometimes I turn words-shy or am really quite, contrary of those crappy and ss days. I can’t always be fully energetic and noisy all the time. My ability to create surprises is limited. I need rest and a peace of mind too. I am a serious person by nature. I do a lot of thinking by myself (you know my chinese name right?). But never once I let you slip off my mind.

I think it’s a good thing that you tell me how you feel. I appreciate it very much.

I’ll treasure the memories together.

My life continues…


BoOn HeNg said...

Life's never easy... It's never easy to make such a decision... If things come to easy, it also will have it's own problems. I believe that everything happened, God has planned for it. I trust that you will went well 1 fine day, with whatever you have so dun give up!

WeeSer = Wiser...

So there u go, you r wiser as days passed! You have all the friends around you, to do some balls-kicking and etc... hehe!

Cheer up & live life cool!

PArtIal's Life.. said...


the crusader said...

Thanks guys...

Means a lot to me.

karen said...

Things happen for many, many reasons. As we grow much older, reasons seem to be more complicated and unpredictable. As time goes by, things got tougher and 'hardcore'. As we know, tomorrow will be another day... a day we called FUTURE. we will never know what is happening again. For living today to the fullest and max, it does carry alot of meaningful reasons behind. Sweet memories to smiled at, to ponder and to cherish... at least right?

You are a GREAT person to a lot of us. Your journey is still out there, filled with colors and wonders. Take care my dear friend. Its A WALK TO REMEMBER=)

ping yew said...

my english not very good...but there are few words that i can say..which is :

i will always support and listen to u whenever u need simply because u're one of my friends...

don't fall simply, but its worth a fall when u learn sth; bcoz u will nvr fall bcoz of that again!

all the best~
:+: happy new year 2009 :+:

the crusader said...

haha.... wow, thanks guys...

thanks for all the encouragement and advice!

cheers for a better future for all.