Sunday, November 4, 2007

It's done......

It is the begining of November... It is the end for 2nd year 1st semester... Four and a half months passed without a trace. Frankly speaking, i am now very very tired. It has been a very long and grueling semester. But i don't know if i feel happy and satisfied now...

Today i had two "combo test" -- Moral in the morning and Signal & System in the afternoon... Yesterday was Linear Algebra. Some of my friends will have Thermodynamics tomorrow and should be studying very hard by now (as i am writing this post). My brain is really exhausted... overheated too... I think i didn't really get to rest or take a nice breath since the begining of the semester, after becoming fasi for the orientation week, it was a flow of events and activities. My life is really a little bit "out of shape" (for me). I didn't really get to do the things that i really want, hang out with the people i really want to hang out with. My routine is just "sardine" packed with datelines and schedule, one after one... I gain some valuable experience, but i missed some stuffs too...

There is a feeling that i had always hated --- regretting stuffs. And i believe this is causing me not being very happy with myself currently. Finals are over and i have a whole month to play and enjoy, but i don't feel (really) excited. Well, this is really different from the previous semesters. The reason, i believe is because i am not very satisfied with my performance this semester. Everything was last minute... I was not prepared (for the finals) although i spent one week (Raya break) here. I am a bit disappointed that i didn't study consistently. But i'd always tried my best... I am just me, the simple fellow from a simple family background, from a simple place, and from a simple school...

Looking back at the past four months plus, i really really did a lot of stuffs. (Maybe i can't believe it myself too) But i neglected some other stuffs too. I will always admit that i am just a very ordinary student, never those smart or bright spark in the class. The only way i can succeed is only thru hard-work, but (a bit) sadly, that was what i didn't do this semester. Especially for LA. I'd always "ponteng" Dr. Ho's class at 8 in the morning. I really hope that i can learn from the mistakes and turn a new leaf for the rest of the upcoming semesters. The stakes are too high. The odds are to hard to bet against... I flung my studies and i'll face a lot of consequences... (uncle lim jump from his grave and kill me???)

However, i'd learnt gained something new this semester. Maybe some of you out there are more mature, and have stronger mental strength, and have already mastered this skill... I've learnt how to control and "arrange" my thoughts. I've learnt not to think so much, or to expect too much from everything, some sort of accepting reality easier. Lol, the chinese say (na3 de2 qi3, fang4 de2 xia4), if you can take up things (enjoy success), you must also be able to put things down at the same time. Things don't always go your way (whether is club stuffs, studies or your life) But life goes on. Time won't stop for a second because you are very down or you are sick. At the end, you'll need to pick yourself up are get going (if not you trail further).

That's why i plan to somehow change my life for the next few sems. I want to be more consistent in my studies, and to do the things i want and like to do. To say that i am tired of joining and organizing stuffs is unfair, as i owed everthing to all those experience from activities. Maybe i should say that i want to try new stuffs, without all the hype and hu-ha here and there. Maybe i would just want to be an ordinary and simple uni student, with some simple routine, by doing the stuffs i like, hanging out with my friends, you know, those stressless study life, which (i can see) some uniten students are having. Maybe after all the ups and downs, the heady heights and the lows, you just want to keep a low profile, and have a simple but happy life (Of course i'll still carry out my responsiblities for the IET) And that's about all....

Anyway, i enjoyed the semester very much (maybe a little too much, e.g. birthday bash laundry bar, hk, club stuffs....) And i would like to thank all my friends out there for helping me thru thistough tough sem!

Sometimes you gain, sometimes you don't. Life is always like that. You can't have the cake and eat it! Maybe this semster will act as a timely reminder for me...


PS: I'll become a JB tour guild this friday. To all the tourist, hope you all will enjoy the trip.

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